Study to Stutter

Study to Stutter

Proverbs 21:31

“The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the LORD.”

I “sttuttterrr” at times. I have for years now. Enjoyably, even as I write this, the automatic Microsoft word check has a note that the word I just wrote is not a word, easy for it to say. The affliction does not always occur, only at a few moments. I did not speak haltingly years ago but recently I do. I do not know why. I do not want it.

There are times when I cannot think of the specific word, it won’t come or I can’t say it. I know how to describe the word but the word, the simple word, eludes me. Yes, it is embarrassing. But more, it is embarrassing in front of a crowd when I am speaking. My church is so gracious about it. They listen and keep listening till I get the word or I describe it so they understand what I want to say. Sometimes they speak out the word so I can get on with the thought or point. These brothers and sisters are wonderful about it.

But why am I telling you this? Several reasons. There is a belief that if you do your part than God must do His. (Spiritual Capitalism)! Not necessarily so. For a pastor, his ministry is to study in order to equip the flock. This equipping demands teaching, usually. Inherent to this joy of mine is the incumbent issue of, “I give, then God promises to give to me. I have found so many times that statement to be false.

Some of the most fluid sermons have come after a busy week and I haven’t studied, as I want. But the opposite also is true, studying and then on to stammering. So why does God do that at times? Why does He call us to do things then hampers us in that commission He gave? Because Preparation and Providence are separate matters.

When Solomon wrote this proverb, I am sure that he did not stutter but he saw a principle in a different situation. His realm was war. He realized that even though he did the diligent groundwork, God still worked the end. It is not a bargaining sell with God but a relinquishing of the ownership even if it is paid for. That is God’s right to give or not. That is God’s grace. We cannot obligate grace, or it is no longer grace.

I also tell you this in order for you to be the gracious responder. Your heart in this matter is key to the giving of grace. God might withhold grace to one and give it another for the blessing of the former and latter. Another reason, God may desire to humble one so He give more grace afterward.

This last Sunday was a “stuttering” sermon day. It was hard to get through it. We had visitors. For a small church, oftentimes we have one chance to bless them. I know some have not come back because of my affliction. But after the sermon I was telling a new attendee friend, “Man, I could not get my words today”. It was an obvious and usual statement. But her response was neither, “I know you were, and I started praying for you”. She’ll never know how much the meant. A weakness prompted prayer for grace to me. I saw my disgust of stuttering turn to gratitude for such a word of equipping.

So remember, today and other days, God gives weakness for His kingdom. Yes, you have to remind yourself countless times of this truth, I know, I do. But deliverance is not always ours. Ours is to prepare and wait. He is good. Always. Trust Him. See all the colors of His rainbow in your sky, after the rain stops or continues.

Horses are to be ridden but the reins are His to turn. So saddle up and enjoy the ride. You may find another barn more suitable to your riding, and others, yours.

Will

Fat Feasts, Enjoy Them

Fat Feasts, Enjoy Them

Proverbs 17:1

It was another memory savored. Usually we like the feast rather than the famine. But in Proverbs 17 it says,

“Better is a dry morsel with quietness,
Than a house full of feasting with strife.”

Yesterday after a full and exhausting day I came home in need of repair. I was hungry, tired, and “big-breath” sighing. You know one of those, “Ahh, I am home” type of door-opening. After taking my work baggage to my room I ventured out to the kitchen where everything happens. Maria was there, we talked a bit, and then a marvelous thing happened. Without any prediction, promise, or persuasion, one by one all the kids ventured by the island, stopped, and either leaned or sat at the counter.

There were snacks everyone was chomping on, you know those ones that have fat grams out the wahzoo. We did not care about poundage at all. Jokes, laughter, smiles, kidding, and memories started flowing. It increased until I could not hear what was being said by all the “interrupters” around. I pulled back and just noted the special unique moment. It was a “house full of feasting” as described in Proverbs, but in the opposite mode. It was a “Feast with peace-ing”.

Solomon contrasts the dry morsel with peace to the full feast with strife. I understand his truth and agree with it. BUT, the best proverb is the loud and raucous full feast in peace and laughter which does good like a medicine.

After several minutes the party dwindled slowing and everyone went back to their usual business but I was different. My heart and soul were rejuvenated and I was glad to be alive again.

I knew that I would not forget those few moments in time. I knew that in delightful future times of weddings, birth days, holidays, and reunions, I would think back on these moments in time. My home is a place of “feasting peace-ing”. When I was young my mother often said in despair to 5 ravenous, grazing kids, “Stop peacing”. I never could understand what that meant save we were to stop eating. I think she thought we were taking food, bit by bit, and then running for cover. How right she was.

Well I guess I am debauched as I love to watch the family “peace-ing” together and laughing unlimited. God gives these times to be enjoyed even if we are overweight because of them. Bring it on! I will exercise more, (ya right) but I will not give up the moments of fatness. In fact, I will seek them. I want to die fat, full on “feasts of peace-ings”. Try it and you will see what I mean. Oh yes, the recipe is also given in Proverbs. Read and you will find.

Look for the counter of laughter. It is there. You just have to be willing to make time for it.

Will

Useless People

“The exclusion of the weak and insignificant, the seemingly useless people, from a Christian community may actually mean the exclusion of Christ; in the poor brother Christ is knocking at the door. We must, therefore, be very careful at this point.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Augustine's Prayer to the Supreme and Sovereign God

You, my God, are supreme, utmost in goodness, mightiest and all-powerful, most merciful and most just. You are the most hidden from us and yet the most present amongst us, the most beautiful and yet the most strong, ever enduring and yet we cannot comprehend you. You are unchangeable and yet you change all things. You are never new, never old, and yet all things have new life from you. You are my God, my Life, my holy Delight. Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Wet Eyes and Slow Walks

Revelation 21:4
“And God will wipe away all their tears”

Maria and I have been asked to coach 7th and 8th grade volleyball. My daughter who plays for the high school heard the varsity coach mention that they did not have coaches. She explodes with, “Oh, my dad and mom played and coached”. With a big smile she told us this head-throbbing, heart-stopping announcement that the coaches were excited and going to ask us to be “coach”. I could end this devotional by saying that I was the one who had at that time the “wet eyes and slow walk”. Not true. But you could probably now make the case that I should have been after 3 days of practicing with a 30 year plus mind and body from when I “played” volleyball. Now I “pray” in volleyball. Funny how things change, spiritual discipline can come from fear, you know.

But today I had the painful responsibility of “cutting” players from the team. It has been long since I did this. In my world of church all volunteers are welcome regardless of the ability sometimes in spite of it. As I asked for the 5 girls to remain after the dismissal of practice, I could tell that fear was near. I told them for right now they would not play and then reiterated all the things about not quitting, practice, try again next year and all the other “ya right” jargon. But the pain came when they began to tear up. As they turned I watched slow walks back to their belongings knowing that they did not “belong” again. “Cut today”.

I had to put out of my mind the possible predicament that what took place in the last ten seconds might be held and remembered the rest of their lives. For me this burden of necessary occurrence is worse than loosing the season because the group looses together. Getting cut is alone. Now it was my turn to have the wet eyes and slow walk.

How many of those “wet eyes and slow walks” have you had? Too many we respond without hesitation. They are usually all related with separation of some kind. We as creations were not made for separation but for unions at all times. So this day, time, and place for the girls move against their entire person. This adds to the already painful memory which will be played thousands of times on their heart’s DVD before the ejection button is hit. That is one tough truth.

I am so thankful that in the real eternal world, we will never be “cut” and made alone. This is true not for our lack or lots of abilities but from Another’s position given away. Christ took the slow walk with immeasurable tears as His eternal soul was “cut” for us. We must always remember that wet eyes and slow walks are not on heaven’s agenda. Ours is the abundance of acceptance, unlimited, by the Unlimited. Thank God! Yes, thank God.

Eyes in heaven have no ducts and all feet run to, not away. In fact, there is no “away”.

I hope you have the joy of finding someone’s hurting DVD and put God’s DVD in it. It plays better.

Will